Dear Reese,
Happy anniversary to the first time you smiled at me. Here is what I wrote on July 27, 2024, at 8:34 pm:
“You smiled at me. And not in your sleep or because you were working through gas (at least I don’t believe so). A beautiful smile. I was changing your diaper before bed and singing to you and as I went to zip your pajamas back up you smiled at me. It was radiant. Beautiful. Worth waiting for. I cannot wait to see it every day.
A few minutes later you were crying at me as I swaddled you and tried to get you down to sleep, but that’s okay. We had a fussy day, with a beautiful interlude where you slept in my lap for three hours. I had to use the bathroom so badly by the end but I didn’t want to move you. I watched episodes of Loki and let it be a respite for both of us.
You are not quite asleep yet as I type this. I got up once in the last two paragraphs to replace your paci.
But you smiled at me. I’ve been told it takes more time – maybe a few more weeks – for that to become consistent but I hope you do it again soon. It’s the first sign I’ve had that you were happy, at least in that moment, and I want nothing more than for you to be happy.
Wow. You smiled at me.”
Your smiles have gotten so bright in the last year. I live for them.
Love,
Mama